goddamn motherfucking annoying...
Beautiful morning, lounging at cafe with Moomin and Rook and our books. While they stood in line to order food for us this PTA mom, LP, came up. And fawned on me and patted my head... yes you heard me she patted my head. And kept pawing me. I recoiled and pushed her hand away more than once as I also fended off her barrage of questions and reactions.
"BUT... but... WHAT???" she sputtered sweetly with her head cocked like a cartoon of puzzlement.
"I have some back problems that bother me sometimes. NICE MORNING ISN'T IT?"
"But I remember you walking all last year and then, I saw you in a wheelchair, But then, now, now you're SORT OF walking? But, with..." *helpless gesture at cane*
*Polite smile of Doooooom* "You know, it is not THAT UNUSUAL for a person to have varying levels of mobility. That's what happens sometimes."
"BUT... " *hand on me again, which I shove off promptly* "But, you were in a wheelchair, and..."
"Yeah cause then I can get around. NICE DAY ISNT IT? I SURE LOVE RELAXING IN THIS CAFE."
What is people's problems! For fuck's sake!
You see why I have begun to feel that I hate people and would rather not talk with anyone, despite being lonely.
Then Bob came up. He is a gruff dude with a heart of gold and I have known him for ages. He has certainly seen me on and off crutches and a cane now and then and limping over the past 5 years especially in the winter. So he approached (and not the first conversation/commentary from him either on this)
"So I know you don't want to hear this probably, I know I didn't at first, and I thought it was nonsense and I gave all the reasons why it wouldn't work..."
"Hi Bob. NICE DAY ISNT IT. I'm ENJOYING THE MUSIC and the NICE SUN"
"The thing is, I didn't want to hear about it. But have you ever heard of orthopedic massage?"
"How lovely. I am doing fine thanks."
"So do you do orthopedic massage? Have you tried it? Do you ...."
*hissing somewhat* "I've dealt with this for many years and I am fine thanks. SO HOW ARE YOU DOING LATELY"
"My mom in law goes to him, and I do too, and M. does, and also so and so, and I went and got trained and I'm a certified massage therapist and and and blah de blah"
"It's so nice that worked for you" *blatant return to book*
"Blah blah blah"
"K thanks Bob" *continue reading*
Rook missed both of these things and the very reason I try not to snap at people or say things that have pushing-away finality is because I don't want to lose my temper or ruin my mood of the pleasant enjoyment of being out and about.
Then we went to Cosco. God don't even fucking ask. Cosco! You know what, random strangers can be really annoying with the frantic flurry of consternation at the unbearably confusing spectacle of a person on wheels! For fuck's sake!
The other night I whipped out "WHY DO YOU WEAR SHOES?" as my snappy answer.
*has nervous breakdown* *needs a drink*
At least now we have enough juice for the next two months.
I have been writing some poems to speed and barbarity and my fierce desire to get on a motorcycle and not come back ever.
Technorati Tags: conversations, daily life, disability
gah! i am so sorry.
Posted by: sdn | June 16, 2007 at 03:44 PM
Oh, those people. I hate them on your behalf.
Posted by: Lisa Hirsch | June 17, 2007 at 09:12 AM
I don't hate people, they mean well, and it's understandable sort of, but I can't help being annoyed. Possibly I have learned the point of manners a bit late in life. ;-)
Posted by: badgerbag | June 17, 2007 at 10:21 AM
What about preprinted business cards? You could have different levels of attitude (like this lady is seriously driving me crazy...time for a red alert card.)They could be handed out with a wry smile, "I get asked these questions a lot, so I made up these cards in place of losing my temper."
Maybe even a cartoon version that shows your changing stages of mobility, all the different medical relief that you've tried...
Then, if they continue to try to ask questions or offer unsolicited advice, whip out a comb-bound BOOK from Kinko's, saying, "read all this first, then we can talk."
Posted by: Patty | June 18, 2007 at 09:45 AM
Oh, jebus. Liz, I think you're a total saint for not being a complete snark-monster at them.
Posted by: Gina | June 18, 2007 at 01:02 PM
Oh for heaven's sakes. People drive me bananas sometimes. Even though I am one.
Posted by: elswhere | June 18, 2007 at 01:08 PM