I'm thinking suddenly about the kids who lived next door to me years ago. I have been avoiding contacting the family though I figure I could find them easily enough. The brother and sister I can't find at all. I doubt they would keep their names anyway - no love lost between them and family. They were in the worst danger. Could be anywhere. Oh, the mom's horrible boyfriend! and the bad teenager heavy metal cousin obsessed with death and guns, and the pit bull! They were always hungry and there was a horrible likelihood of ongoing sexual abuse. And then when they got "kicked out" of the trailer and had to sleep on the porch and were covered in yellow jacket stings.
The girl cousins were easier because their last name is distinctive and they did have a strong family identity (despite their legal last names all being different, which was a secret). S, the second to youngest of the 4 girls, just graduated from Santa Cruz high and got a scholarship. I'm so proud... she was always a smart one (and a great, funny smart ass too). Her sister seems to have graduated from The Cattiness High a bit earlier, and I found their mom in an article about homelessness. So there's a story in there. She was such a good person. The baby would be 11 now. I worried about that child b/c she seemed a little slow to me. Oh, what happened. I want to know, and yet:
a) I feel super guilty about losing touch for so long after having been in their lives
b) I fear being sucked into major drama, instantly, as always happened
c) I keep telling myself that if only i had my own money i would find them, and then if there was difficulty i would be able to help
d) it's never "the right time"
e) the longer that goes by the stupider I feel about it
f) I also feel self conscious about my role at the time, back then - my cluelessness...
Well, thanks to the web at least I get the minor assurance that they're alive. I kind of wish i could send some anonymous cash to the kid in college.
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