from yesterday in the kitchen, about a 4 year old:
"Zork says when he grows up, he wants to drive a VW Beetle and own a pug."
"Wow. That's so precociously hip."
"Yeah. It's like he's an idiot savant, with coolness. "
*pause*
"Um... not to imply your child is an idiot....!"
***
Everyone has left in a pouring thunderstorm in 3 cars to go to an aircraft carrier museum. Later today the rain will turn to snow. Moomin is, as usual, skeptical of the promised "adventure".
Once everyone was out of the house I fell fast asleep! This cold sucks, but at least it saves me from going on the Adventure.
My god, the way my mom-in-law makes lunch for everyone... huge raggedy slabs of fatty ham, on very mayonnaised bread. Mmmmmm!
People in this house never stop screeching!
I snapped at some children banging the screen door over and over. After a while of the parents and others were like, "honey, please don't blah de blah the I would prefer that you not blah blah..." Then I just lost it and without thinking, barked like a drill sargent, "YOU KIDS QUIT BANGING THAT DOOR" with a heavily implied "goddammit" and my eyes narrowed in cold rage. They stopped. There is a time and a place to tell children to shut the fuck up... gentle attachment parenting be dammed.
It is my and Rook's anniversary, and I thought it was tomorrow and I think so did he, but really I just want to take him out somewhere nice next week when we have the peace to do it and when I'm not sick as a dog.
Steven and I are famous for forgetting our anniversarry...for nine years straight. We knew kinda when it was, but the date kept slipping our minds.
We finally remembered in time to throw a party for our tenth.
Posted by: | November 22, 2005 at 12:12 PM
I put the words "Tailspin" and "Tweezers" into google and clicked on Search. No idea why I chose those two words, but this is holistic surfing I suppose.
The third item listed was your URL.
I read the first few paragraphs and laughed several times. You write beautifully and some of your comments are delightful. I only wish I was as adept at articulating my feelings as you!
Don't have time to read much more right now, but I've bookmarked your page and will be back for more later.
Thankyou for brightening my day.
Perhaps I shall do some more holistic surfing as well - the results so far are stupendous.
Regards and best wishes,
TC
Posted by: Tony Cooke | November 23, 2005 at 05:38 AM
Feeling better today, darlin? I'm afraid I gave you that cold, though if there were any justice that would mean that I didn't HAVE it any more.
Posted by: Jo | November 23, 2005 at 08:48 AM
Moot and I got confused about our anniversary this year -- we planned our celebratory dinner for the day after our actual anniversary and only realized belatedly that we'd gotten confused. As it happens, the day we celebrated was the day I found out I was pregnant, so we were both appropriately giddy.
Is the aircraft carrier museum an actual decomissioned aircraft carrier? We have one of those in Alameda. They have a party there every fourth of July, boasting "a dance floor big enough to land an airplane on."
Posted by: garnet | November 23, 2005 at 09:17 AM
What a nice random comment, Tony! Thanks! I think you might have ended up here because of a reference further down the page - to the infamous "penis tweezers" invented by Minnie.
I remember being very puzzled by a joke in a book called "101 Elephant Jokes" from the mid-70s.
It had some good stuff like, "Why did the elephant wear red sneakers? Because his green ones were in the wash."
the puzzling joke was:
Q: How do you get an elephant into a bottle?
A: Look at the elephant through the wrong end of some binoculars. Pick him up with tweezers and put him into the bottle. Voila!
I got it, but didn't really think it was funny.... I would sit around thinking about it for HOURS... perhaps even in a tailspin of whirling thoughts! Shot down by the 101th elephant joke!
Posted by: badger | November 23, 2005 at 10:37 AM
Elephant Jokes - I have two.
1). How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
He paints his toenails red!
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
See- it works!
Note: Remembered from a joke book from the school library when I was 7.
2). Is a sight gag. Wasted in print!
How does an elephant ask for a bun?
It says (put right arm up to nose and wave about like an elephants trunk) "Can I have a bun please"?
As I said, it's a sight gag and best performed to under seven's. Though drunken adults do seem to find it amusing.
Left arm is fine, but both arms at once is uncomfortable and not as funny.
Keep typing, I'll keep reading though may not be able to add comments for a while as you have quite a backlog for me to work through.
TC
Posted by: Tony Cooke | November 24, 2005 at 04:32 PM