so brilliant!

Rook has told me the details of the hilarious bachelor/bachelorette party... OMG funny!!!

They took Minnie to THE MALL. to get a MAKEOVER at the CL1NiQUE counter. at M$CYs. (this is especially funny because that is the brand of makeup our mom uses and i think when in junior high Minnie was forcibly taken to learn how to put on makeup at that very place (well, at its analogue in houston.) And they put horrible long bright red acrylic press-on nails on her. put her in a nasty, nasty, tacky wedding dress and a BEER HAT and took her to gl4mor shots (a photo place where they pose you and take those soft-focus photos...) Then, made her carry an enormous double-headed dildo as a sort of scepter and took her to a very fancy, classy cigar bar.

Yeah!!!! perfect! hahaha. Then to a strip club where she (drunk) got lap dances while... you know... glamoured up and in this sleazy wedding dress and holding the giant dildo.

Rook is very smirky. Our guy friends are brilliant! If Minnie had had a shred of dignity left in her, which is just faintly possible, it is surely gone.

I know the girls had equal or more fun with T. what I DIDN'T hear is that they obtained viagra and were going to give it to him secretly. Oh man! Well, it all sounds like a blast and I was sorry to miss it ! I can't wait to hear the story of what happened to T. and see some photos of how he looked in my velvety leopard pants and what happened. I think they had the remote-control vibrating panties for him. Good GOD. Anyone who thinks bachelorette parties are dull and silly should hang with this crowd. They have no boundaries. (You will recall that the last one, we hired Ouchy the Clown, who SHAVED ALL OUR PUSSIES.)

So -- figuring that this party would have to top that one -- by all the rules of honor and glory -- yeah... that's why I didn't go (because I didn't want to go there witih my future brotherinlaw...!) Whoever is the next to get married in this crowd is in for some trouble, because whatever happens next will have to top whatever just happened last night, which I'm sure was amazingly creative and awful, and this time, I'll be on the job!

Comments

[GraceD]

This post cannot just sit on the web without a comment. Hence, I say to the Badger Clan - I'm in awe.

[minnie]

er? make-up lessons at the clinquie counter? you must be thinking of your OTHER sister. it wasnt me. i've always liked clinique tho and i still buy it now.

P.S. i love beer hats. i wear them all the time.

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