badgerbag: messy, surly, full of books: in exile

After working very hard all morning without stopping... I had a nice afternoon with moomin. We went to the park with his friends. Then - to Oaktown - christ! the traffic! almost 2 hours! ate dinner - I had a crazy urge to eat a hamburger - all very cozy. In the car we listened to music together, one earphone each tentacling from the ipod, lots of discussion of the lyrics.

Moomin was excited about spending the night with little Dragonboy! Last night he wanted to dye his hair "quick, before I go over to dragonboy's house, because next week it will be too late!" And paint his nails blue. We didn't get to it... It was touching that he wanted to impress Dragonboy (whose hair is green) with his weirdness. "Dragonboy doesn't have a brother or a sister. And I dont' have a brother or a sister. And he is cool and punk rock. And he has a corn snake that eats mice and he likes Godzilla monsters. We can be like brothers!" (*sob* the cuteness!)

Rook is out, still, probably till quite late, with the bachelor/bachelorette party thing... I bet they are having a total blast!

Chula is in L.A. and had a reading tonight at A D1fferent Light and is out at some kind of f3tish club event thing.

Unfortunately I got into MORE traffic, and was on the bay bridge for another hour and a half at least because there is some sort of sports game... it must be unusually important but i have no clue what it was. Dotty called me from the bridge... "Can you call and tell them we will be late...we're stuck on the bay bridge..." They were maybe 10 minutes in front of me! Funny. So - I was not late for it after all since the presenters were also late!

(for the mildly sleazy bits, click here)

So - the Ex1les are the successor group to Outc4sts, which I was part of from... I guess 1990 to 95 or so. (I got their newsletters even before I moved here.) It was sort of funny to be there at this meeting/presentation and be the old girl, and sweet young things coming up to me and pointing me out to other sweet young things, going, "Lookit her tshirt. she used to be in OUTC4STS." I guess that is how I felt about the S4mois people when i moved here in 1990!

The meeting was full of total hotties, lots of fucking cute chicks and transmen in chaps etc. butchy was more prevalent than femmy. somehow i failed to get the email or pass my email to this one super hot friendly grad student in a field similar to mine... dammit!

However. I have a small sheaf of other people's cards and emails.

There was one super hot chick that made my jaw drop. I mean... I noticed her across the room and her amazing casually-corseted tits hanging out and the cute woman-symbol tattoo... errrrgh, hot! but then she got up and walked past me and her enormous round gorgeous ass was just hanging out of her miniskirt. OMG. I had that tonguetied thing where I think I was talking to someone else and just stopped mid-sentence and head-swivelled after that chick's ass like an iron filing after a magnet - like a complete idiot! Yes, I went up and told her how she was omg-hawt and gave her my email. Don't worry. I am not shy in that particular way.

i also finally met the Pretty Librarian's cute partner - I've heard about her lots from Dotty, who plays with them and wants us all to play sometime. I liked her! No instant giant sexy sparks but she was cute and nice.

What I was missing was real sluttiness. I went around babbling to people answering their questions about old Outc4sts by instantly leading the conversation to how slutty I was and how I loved to be an exhibitionist etc. Sort of hoping that (as at old meetings...) a friendly other-person would pop up like a perky prairie dog and go, "Oh, me too! Let's get it on!" But no.

So I started getting the feeling that it is much more closed-community-like, and I'd have to go to like, 4 meetings and then once the various cliques made up their minds about me, someone would have sex with me. For fuck's sake, chicas, you're perverts! Have some casual, friendly, sleazy sex already! It's called cruising - but no - instead, the whole freakin' community has to cruise you and gossip it over and make sure you're "safe" or aren't someone's evil ex or a heroin addict. Gargrrrl, or Somebodyorother, I know you know what I mean about that dyke dynamic. It has its benefits and beauties! But when you're a MILF from the suburbs on her night out, with free babysitting all night long, you want to get laid right THEN. You KNOW? OMG what does a girl have to do to get some pussy? Lots of people invited me meaningfully to come to the women's party at the c1tadel next week. Well, maybe sometime in the next 6 months... I must try to present as out-of-town-hot-nookie, somehow, non-threateningly...

But - also I was not dressed to kill and was really there to see Dotty. And was very tired from all the trafficky driving. So I'm sure it's better that I'm home, blogging.

And they were all so so so so cute and I felt general friendliness to all and sundry. Lots of people seemed pleasantly nerdy, brainy, whathaveyou. Someone came up to me and said, "Quick! Are you a nerd! Are you an SF nerd! Are you a Trekkie?" I assented. "Good. You seemed like you might be. Quick, it's driving me crazy, what's that thign that starts with T, that's something to do with time..." "Tachyons?" "No... I mean, yes, tachyons, but that other thing specific to Startreck, later-startrek..." I scoffed. "Oh, LATER startrek, well, foo, I would not know."

I could not believe that Dotty and Jennet did that whole giant long presentation and demo and workshop for hours - after being in that same horrid traffic with me - and one of them with a broken toe and the other one just out of some kind of minor surgery the other day. How? They were good at it. I giggled madly when Dotty quoted Ye4ts, in admiration of her nerditude.

My one serious reserve is that I did not see any trannygirls there and so I wondered about their friendliness level... out of 75 or so women and quite a lot of them trans, no mtf. i wonder about this. Well, there was one chick who might have been, and it's not like i was gawking at everyone on it or wanted to be like, obviously staring at people's knuckles or anything. Their website says they are trans-friendly... "for those whose self-identified g3nder is other than male." I don't really know the politics of anything anymore!

Other good thing about the meeting: minty condoms, 10 for a dollar.

(I am now suddenly madly curious about the history of the end of Outc4sts as i can only find cryptic "it was highly political" references on the web. What kind of political? Issue-political, or someone's hairy breakup political, or complete scandal political - what? I will ask Those Who Probably Know.)

Another nice thing about today. Somehow through all the traffic and not-getting-any-pussy and imprudently-eaating-greasy-hamburger-then-feeling-queasy moments, I felt amazingly happy. I just looked at my life and thought okay, wow, actually, this is happiness right now and has been for a while and how amazing is that? I felt thankful - consistently - all day about everything in my life (except the traffic, striking out, and indigestion).

badgerbag: messy, surly, full of books

Ranting, complaining, speculating, confessing from Badgerbag in an extended Crossing the Line ceremony.

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