Men at WisCon are afraid to flirt with me. That is as it should be; they are correct in their perceptions that I am fearsome. Then - what is it about the loud strong asskicking feminist women who mate with reserved, rather shy, uber-logical, super-smart, sweet, noticing-things-quietly men who are surpised and pleased when women deign to speak with them? Has anyone else noticed this pattern? And they tend to be poly. I'm just saying. Natch there are plenty of dykely ones who don't fit this pattern so don't get up my nose for generalizing... But doesn't it seem like we go for these sweet maidenly spock-like creatures fairly often? Isn't that amusing? People have written reams about feminist-girlhood crushes on Spock and the conviction one has that underneath, Spock is a total muffin. Here we see a result of those feminist girlhoods 30 or 40 years later.
Whump was telling me about several notorious incidents of people (SF writers or fans) saying that men aren't allowed at WisCon or that to get in the door you have to be gelded. How very Gate to Women's Country! That feminist men - who don't make themselves Big all the time - who could fearlessly face Hothead Paisan with a clear conscience and a shy smile - are considered by some to be "feminized" men. Of course it is a compliment for this to be so.
I noticed something like it in The Country of the Pointed Firs - the way the men were, especially William. The way he is restful, comforting, and perceptive for the narrator amid the intensity of the imaginary and social-imaginary life of the intensely verbal village women.
Actually, on the "Why Men Hate Sex" panel a couple women said how the men they date are almost exclusively SNAGs are so very unassertive, especially when it comes to sex, and what could they do about it, and Ian and I had a fun discussion afterwards that boiled down to "don't date SNAGs."
It was all very much more complex and multilayered and less dismissive than that, of course. We decided that being queer and/or kinky helped a lot, frex.
Posted by: | June 01, 2005 at 02:13 PM
What's a SNAG? What's frex? Oh wait. Sensitive New Age Guy? I like them unassertive. They should be taught how to tart themselves up and send sexual readiness signals; paint toenails, take whore's baths, seductively lick the cream out of oreos, or whatever.
Also, upon my command, they should be able to pretend to be evil sexist space pirate mad scientists who force me to submit to their diabolical vibrating experiments. Then they revert to placid sensitivity. What could be nicer?
Posted by: badgerbag | June 01, 2005 at 02:31 PM
Frex: For example.
(I didn't know it, either.)
Posted by: Prentiss Riddle | June 01, 2005 at 05:30 PM