integry

Thinking this morning about the concept (from feminist economics) of "integry" : the work done that functions as social glue. It is an extension of "politics." This work can be gossip, conversation, building social networks and community, mediating, hosting, providing social space as at a party or dinner, what one might think of as emotional work (or in a different context, as therapy); experiencing emotions and expressing them; stuff like that. Even smiling might count as this work; it's placatory behavior (work that supports patriarchy), true, as I just commented in Minnie's journal with a quote from Shulamith Firestone; but it functions as work that smooths sociality as well.

How odd yet meaningful it was when Mory, the nutty preschool mom, was angry with me and saying "You are dead to me. I will not smile at you anymore."

Thinking too of friendship as work. Jo and Squid and me, we are fairly tight, and I realize more and more how important this is and how non-trivial and how necessary. And part of what makes it so dear is that we recognize each others' work AS BEING WORK. It has no currency-value and we will never get paid for it, though -- in other contexts, all that work is stuff you have to pay for. Outside of marriage or love/sex relationship and "the home" you have to pay for that housework and childwork and therapywork; people even pay to be in social groups. Paying-attention-to-each-other work. So I see women's friendships with each other as being incredibly crucial. We have our own underground economy and currency, I think. Co-ops try to formalize this labor and make the way it's currency explicit. I believe in this, but it is difficult in practice. Doing wife-level work for another person is a big deal. Co-ops are formal the way that marriage is formal- marriage is a work contract. Co-ops are a way to try to expand and change the patriarchal structure of families as economic units.

The thing that makes us nuts is when the work isn't recognized as work but is seen as natural, as affection, as leisure, as love or friendship (Obviously I like love and friendship; I'm not cold or cynical at all. It's just that the reason for things isn't always simply, "because I love you" or "because we are friends" - but "this social reality we are making has value".)

Anyway: thinking with immense fondness and respect of the integry work of Squid and Jo and other friends. How Squid chose her house partly with integry in mind, and hosting all those playgroups. I swear every time I drank a soda or ate fancy cheese at her house I thought of the thought, care, and work she puts into those things, as it's not about utiilitarian feeding of people but something else... It takes skill, even to think of things like "where will people sit?"

You can't kill the angel in the house, but you could see her as a worker.

Also, how M.'s wedding is part of this framework, I can't help but think that she is entering (more deeply) the world of integry (because of getting married but more immediately because planning the giant social event of the wedding, and having it, is very, very intense integry-work.)

Another thing. Part of "bitching about housework" and that sort of frustration we all talk about at times, ends up being misinterpreted, I think. I'll hear Jo realizing that her constant shopping is work; it's not (necessarily) luxury, being a consumer, etc, it's that, if she does not think about who needs sandwich stuff for their lunch or school clothes or whatever, that stuff won't be there. When I take an hour out of the day to go to Cosco and stock up on soda, and then haul the heavy boxes inside and clean out the fridge to make room and put everything away, I'm not doing it simply because I want to consume the soda, I'm doing it because i know that other people will be in my house and will drink it AND appreciate it. The key is not that I want someone else to go to Cosco for me; it's that I want the appreciation part, because there is no other "payment". (Hmm, possibly I'm just having a Very Stupid Epiphany about why it's good to be polite.)

Blogging has come to be an extension of this integry. Think about that for a bit (as people like danah boyd do).

Comments

[Jo]

YES YES YES! It's like we are the same brain today.

[qp]

Aah! Yes, and if people just realized "this is a kind of work that I've done for you" more often up front how much more smoothly it would go -- appreciation could be accepted happily as currency and not deflected/shrugged off... I am bad at acknowledging that, I am usually the one who makes the food and makes the house a pleasant shared space to be in but when someone thanks me for it I'm all "oh well I like to do it, I would do it anyway, it's nothing..." (and I would do it anyway, sure)
but... (especially since I am far better at the hostly-integry than the friendly-integry -- that is girlfriend's domain) even a casual (not co-op-y) recognition of all the different stuff in the social glue would be most welcome, and valuable. work is work! contributions! manners are c00l!

[Prentiss Riddle]

The session on tagging and folksonomy at SXSW was entitled "Leveraging Solipsism", meaning how you can use people's tagging for their own personal use to build metadata of use to the group as a whole.

But dang, it seems to me that they should have had a feminist economist on the panel to talk about "integry" and other motivations for tagging which are social, not solipsistic, in the first place.

I thought this was an original insight till I got to your last line and realized that Danah would be there way ahead of me. Pity she wasn't on the panel.

(P.S. I wonder whether more people would have gotten the joke if they'd named the panel "Leveraging Onanism"?)

[badgerbag]

Oh exactly, qp - "Don't mention it, I would do it anyway..." It's true. But glossing over it is also because it's not mentionable; it's a taboo subject.

While I'm revealing my innermost thoughts I'll go even more taboo and say this: sluttiness is integry.

[qp]

"But glossing over it is also because it's not mentionable; it's a taboo subject."

Yeah, it's like the sort of social accommodations/events/networks are things that are done, passive-done, and it's expected that they'll be done, yet mentioning doing (and so the doer) is not ok, uncomfortable. Less so with examples like weddings &c., maybe, more with friendships and other daily things -- we don't so much talk about how it's hard sometimes to make and maintain ties, to do upkeep both emotional and environmental. It's supposed to seem easy, natural, innate maybe? why? sure isn't!

sluttiness = sure!
More intense glue! (Although, definitely more taboo, too. Work that isn't recognized at all sometimes, rather the opposite. People seeing sluttiness as the opposite of expanding the social space, breaking it up instead. Doesn't make sense now. Have begun thinking about bonobos: danger! danger!)

[badgerbag]

Hmm, actually, that spa spam reminded me of this post on Le Guin heroes. Thanks, spa(m) equipment! It connects nicely to these thoughts...

[Jo]

I love that spa(m.) It is so, I don't know, so poetic, somehow. I am now thinking how I might spam you in a post entitled "Integry." Some kind of product that would facilitate relationships between women.

[Tupperware]

Tupperware

[Marykay]

Mary Kay naked

[Ide Cyan]

Heeeee....

I'm currently having an IM conversation with someone, and I was talking about integry, and so I looked it up in an couple of online dictionaries to see what they had to say, but they didn't even list the word, so I turned to Google, and it listed your blog entry as the first result.

It's a small web.

Now I'm going to actually read your entry, and comment again if necessary.

[degan]

this is great. I just got back from holidays and came across your site, now I'm trying to get my sluggish neurons all fired up to be thinking about things.

[badgerbag]

Hmmm, maybe I should write something up for Wikipedia and properly cite Joanna Russ.