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Iris

A friend of mine went to live in S.America and was telling me how hard it was to get over his guilt at having a live-in servant but it was the norm there.When I asked what she did, I had a moment of horrible recognition. He had just described my day - but the people round me were not 'extra-nice' out of guilt nor did they try in every way to show that they respected me as a person.Being a mother of young children is such a huge and shattering change from being 'not a mother' these days that I'm amazed more isn't written about it. Even now I still find myself automatically taking the burnt bit of toast or the bruised apple.It chips away at your soul.

Prentiss Riddle

Iris, no arguments about hard it is to be a mother (or, if you reduce that by some percentage, to be a commited and involved father).

However, is it harder to be a mom to your own kids or to be a servant tending someone else's?

I'm sure there's no one answer to that question. Our after-school nanny is in no way mistreated and our kids are much easier to handle with her than with us. Plus she gets to leave them at the end of the day. That's a very different experience from your traditional impoverished maid or nanny, who commonly out of necessity has to neglect her own kids to take care of la jefe's.

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