I didn't get enough done.. I'm snappish and freaking... aaaagh.
I started feelign like I'm saying yes to too many things and actually i need to be calling in help from other people right now!
Right as I was about to burst into tears and was whining to Rook over IM, the Pilot and Chefily came in and offered to provide a little extra Moomin-watching if I needed it. Also Chefily wisely suggested putting off the clothes swap until after my paper is due. smart. I was thinking that one evening would not be a big deal but actually it can be when everything is last minute.
If I can overcaffeinate myself tomorrow and whomp down a huge draft of a paper I would be SO happy. I thought that's what I was doing today in the 2 hours inbetween the dentist and picking up Eliz. but I just didn't rev up enough. That is so lame of an excuse but ... nothing came out... I couldn't get it up.... this is why I suck at deadlines...
Tonight... a video for Moomin... (guilt! ack) a little vodka... and an email to my prof about the paper idea because I just realized that I shoudl have sent it long ago and didnt'! uh-oh.
Really I just want to go to bed right now and read myself to sleep.
Tomorrow... conference with Moomin's teacher and then: all paper all day.
Wed.: watch peanut. GYN appt. maybe an hour free. pick up eliz. pick up Moomin. No work will happen on this day. FUCK.
Thurs. print draft of paper ??? what draft? there had better be one. fuck fuck fuck. turn it in.
Fri: work like a mad dog on the paper. (in SF) get moomin. in theory, go to W4verly poetry reading. ?? i have missed the last 3 of them and keep promising to go...
Sat: ?? maybe t his is the day I need to call in favors or have Rook do all.
Sun: ?? ditto
Why didn't I start this on Sunday! dammit! I was all cleaning the house stupidly and stuff. dumb! dumb! dumb!
why am I blogging this? i should just write some crap right now as an attempt to get in the mood.
mood about more grad school/phd: strongly leaning toward NO.
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