I have 3 tiny cavities but my gums are so healthy the dentist acted astonished. It's nice when dentists, rather than being stern and frowny, compliment one. On the other hand maybe he figured from looking at my scruffiness that my teeth would be crumbling brown stubs.
I fussed about having to have like 30 fucking xrays and they thought i was an anti-xray damned hippie. "Don't worry ma'am you get more radiation exposure by visiting Lake Tahoe for the weekend." I'm not an x-ray fearing freakazoid! I just hate the xrays ever since i was a kid. They make me gag, retch, and cry. You'd think as I have no other gag reflex situtation to speak of (this makes me so popular with boys!) that this would not happen... but it does... and I'm so fucking stoic about every other medical procedure! draw my blood! wiggle the needle! I don't like it, but I don't wince, from a lifetime of allergy shots! I think wounds are interesting, even my own! But a back-of-the-mouth dental xray reduces me to a trembling wreck. How hard would it be to make little xray plates in different sizes that actually fit into one's mouth without cutting into the skin under your tongue or going down your fucking throat? It's like being mouth-raped with a credit card for 20 minutes straight! fuck, i hate it.
Apparently it's the law or something that you have baseline xrays before they clean your teeth! It's some kind of dentist law! Becasue I tried to weasel out of getting it and they were stern and cited much bureaucratic precedent and State this and Board of Dentists and the Empress of Dental Hygeine herself, Periodontia Buttocks.
The stuff that shows if your gums are healthy is called the lamina dura. My lamina dura is like diamond shields! It's generated by tiny nuclear power plants in the back of my skull! the lamina dura of the Badger is so fucking studly, it's grown right over where my wisdom teeth used to be, which means my back teeth will endure, like the pyramid of cheops or a cthuloid statue found in the deep ocean, for countless ages. My 2 old root canals and gold teeth gleam healthily. "WHO did your amazing root canals? Their points are perfect! They're perfectly healed!" gushed Dr. Guy-with-a-beard. He seemed to enjoy telling me the latin names for everything and explaining his nifty fluorescing equipment.
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