a few more random thoughts

I want to write extensively about SJ's paintings but am putting it off till later when I have more real mental energy.

She recommends "W1ttgenstein's Mistress" a book about the last woman in the world. and the movie "Magnolia".

I wrote the name "Boedicia Ripper" in my notebook idly thinking it would be a great name for a writer of feminist romance/horror novels. Probably someone else has thought of this.

Last night was one of the most uncomfortable since... since I don't know when, but I kept waking up even through my sleeping pills, nearly sobbing with the brutal pain of the broken, tilty, hard-as-a-rock, lumpy and bumpy "mattress". The attic is very dusty. Rook is tormented with allergies and his back hurts as he nobly took the worst "mattress'. I will be lucky if I manage to get back home without being completely physically broken -- neck, back, all-over pain, nasty allergies will make me likely get sick and get a sinus infection or something. i'm steealing hits off my nephew's flovvent (why did i forget mine... ack) hoping to stave off asthma. Okay... there's the obligatory travel-whining... i'm fine... I shall not fear, fear is the mindkiller... yea, though i sleep on the mattress of the shadow of death, um, something...

How can they have slept there for 2 years? not to mention the 40+ years they slept on those same crap-ass excuses for mattresses... i know that was their main bed their whole lives... but they slept there in the attic for 2 years and are apparently robust, hale and hearty.

If it were not for Moomin and it being nice to be around the cousins every possible minute I would run off to stay in a hotel and damn the torpedos. Poss. will (next time? tomorrow?) go to sears and buy a bed and an air filter. I think fondly of my own mom who nicely furnishes her guest room and puts thoughtful clocks, air filters, non-perfumed kleeenexes, hypoallergenic mattress covers, nighttables with lamps. Dude. I WANT MY MOMMY. whine whine whine.

Really it's worse than camping.

Maybe if I drink a lot? That is worse for one's sleep cycles/fibromyalgia problems (which have been under control now for so long) but ... if I could just pass out and have perfect oblivion for 8 hours... and a mask and hose-thing to the window, where the air has only pollen and not the Dust of Ages.

I am the princess and the pea. I am a tender, whiny peach. I am a blogging canary in a coal mine of moldy pillows. The only warm blankets are wool (allergic to it) and long-unwashed down (yes of course). Oh misery.

And so to bed!

Comments

[squid]

We've got Wittgenstein's Mistress if it hasn't already been loaned to you.

You are not a princess. Go buy a fucking air bed and an air filter, or do the heavy drinking thing (two or three isolated days shouldn't bring on an FM attack, right?).

Your health is precariously won and maintained as it is. I do respect your in-laws, but their cluelessness is no reason to endanger yourself. You have options. You are brave and stalwart but in reality far to fragile to submit to what would be torture for even a hearty person.

This entry is dripping with worry and affection. Act now.

[Prentiss Riddle]

Magnolia was cool. So was Lantana, which came out the same year or the next. I always figured they must be covertly connected in some way.

[GarGyrrl]

I think I love my family even more now.