*yawn*

exhaustion... mildly listless... school registration woes continue... I am going to have to run around on 2 or maybe even 3 separate days to get all the signatures I need. 6 signatures necessary and 4 of them have very specific office hours.

I did some looking at gr@nts and awards and things like that. The transl@tion one looks like they want way more hip edgy stuff than what I do and from more obscure languages. They also look like they cream their jeans over theory and if there is anything I sure don't want to translate it's that!!

So for grants:

- the UC-Ickvine one (evil theory hipsters)
- the Brattish Literature Ass. Dryhump Award
- the Notional Endowment for the Ass grants (which I don't qualify for yet but will by next year or the next, and then, eat my dust!)

That's pretty much it. Everything else I've seen is for already-published books.

craptastic!

In theory I now have 3 more classes plus my thesis left. I'm not sure if I can manage to do the thesis plus a class especially a hard class taught in sp@nish by what I hear are the most jerky old sexist dinosaurs (oh, so familiar from u. of Taxass!) So it could maybe be may 05 but i think more likely dec. 05 for me to finish. I could drive like a maniac for may 05? but i want my thesis (transl. of j. de ibarb. and maybe also delmira) to be super good and i want to find it a real publisher.

I could try the Stafffnord Stegasaurusgner residency thing one more time; I think I might not like it very much as workshops give me the heebie jeebies. but they do support you and in theory maybe it would be good. Maybe I'd have a shot at it this time. I have better rec letters and credentials than I did 2 years ago... also better writing. I'm not sure where it would really get me in the end other than time. Snootability? Snooterifficosity? Snootatiousness? Would it kill my soul? I'd be embarrassed by it if I did get it. Talk about not "keepin' it real".

I could also go for some generic "writing" or "humanities" awwards here and there. I have a fabulous gpa right? should be able to crank something out of that? Mess about with forms and rec letters and writing a cheesy essay for $500 and a snifter-snooter-licious totally nonimportant addition to one's awfully pointless-feeling CV? The glory of Winning? The usefulness of 500 bucks that I will blow through in 1 month of groceries?

A beloved friend of mine who is in some ways a successful writer with a bunch of books published and occasional live royalties called last night freaking that her p0ems were rejected from a tiny journal, the only journal she had sent to in the last year... the tiny journal that is the mouthpiece of her p0et-community... I felt her pain and shame and humiliation... when is enough success enough? I would guess never.

Comments

[whump]

"evil theory hipsters"!

I am giggling at the idea of Slitherin and Draco Malfoy as a bunch of sneering, black turtleneck-wearing, post-structuralists.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore hands Harry Potter a tattered copy of Terry Eagleton.

[badgerbag]

whump! you are demented! you should be illegal!

[whump]

I am not illegal. However, I do require a permit in 18 states.

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