Last night C. came over. Moomin liked waiting for the train... He got very confused because a little kid named Chula had just been over and he was a little in love with the other kid, who was a lot older and played with him amazingly well, very intensely. "Is the kid Chula coming on the train? Did they grow up and are a grown up girl now? Is Chula a grown up? Or a kid?" I assured him that she was a grown up.
We got sushi from the place next to the train station... I must remember to get the good stroller out of Rook's car... the lightweight one without wobbly wheels. It being very pleasant to walk around strolling in the cool of the evening after such an ungodly hot day.
We all had dinner outside (again) which was also nice... Moomin half-believed Chula that her ears fly off her head like bats when she thinks too hard...
Later I began feeling minorly awkward all over again as it was just like... strangely apparent that alone with either person I could have great conversations but that all together something was suddenly awkward -- probably me. Surely I will do something wrong that will make either person mad or uncomfortable? (Like blog about them? eep.) And what if they don't like each other? Worry worry worry. I think those feelings will go away over time and things will feel more natural or comfortable but I can't expect that to happen instantly. This is often true of friendships too and no one thinks much of it; I have lots of close friends who never seem to hear each other being fascinating and lovely, but they get to hear about it and perhaps believe it even if thrown together at a party, they stand there dumbly with their beers, nodding and discussing the hot weather or potty training. I don't feel like every moment has to be perfect. And I'm incredibly glad they will both make the effort to hang out with each other and try to be comfortable about it. Stupid @mapol book with its carbon molecules and bonobo dicks is utterly no help in discussing any of this as it seems to assume that everyone is a million times more uncomfortable than this and doesn't go into the level of vague neurosis and ways to talk about poly or about complex webs of friendships that I seem to require? It's not like my groups of friends don't also have their tensions...
It also made me think a little about me and MM and Ima when we were all 3 going out with each other.
But anyway we watched xena and had a good time. I love Xena but mostly I love G@brielle for the overoptimism and great "fast talk" abilities. She is my kind of superhero!
Today, a long hangout with Jo in the park, on blankets with a giant pillow. We discuss the perils and pitfalls of housewifing and supporting a housewife. It got very unbloggable. Again, a good conversation that disappeared when a third showed up, not through any fault of his but just a lack of ground to stand on and not knowing where to start filiing in all the details. Heroically Jo tried to continue talking about it in a way that could include him, but it was a bust as he didn't understand the rules of such a conversation, which is that it's an information trade and he had to say something confessional to establish trust, or he didnt' get to hear any more.
In other news I began to think more this morning at McCoot's office about an idea that Rook and I talked about a few months ago about starting a group of fictional people blogs. Then driving home I was seeing it all as a novel with the 3 guys. (why i want to write a novel about 3 guys... dont' ask me...) and their different deceptions and problems and how to translate and obfuscate some things I have been involved in and transmute groups of people into these characters... Not that I'm actually going to write this. As if I work on one it would be the thoreau one, which I still think about from time to time... It's just ideas I think, unless a lot more hours suddenly materialize out of the day or I organize my time differently or acquire magic discipline and fervor.
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