but not unmixed with wild fury. It is pretty nice of my mom that this time when I talk about my ex-girlfriend Masha, she didn't go "WHO....???" and pretend not to know who she was (we were together 2 years and lived together and for fuck's sake - Masha was supporting me!) Instead she said that was great about her getting her PhD and she actualy went out and bought her a graduation card and mailed it. It's like a super belated acknowledgement of our relationship, or something, but better late than never? Is she less homophobic?
Her terrible ranting on how my friend B. was trying to get pregnant years ago scared me -- she kept saying "how could she DO that to her CHILD" meaning "how could she dare to be gay and married and have a kid" and we had a long fruitless argument: Having a child and being gay, no matter how committed your relationship, is bad for the child (How? you wil have to ask her, but it has to do with the Order of Society being destabilized and the child being Queered somehow and exposed to Evil Disrespecting of the Norms of Society and maybe even Embarrassed at School...) And when I mentioned M. and Q. also trying to get preg, and my ex-g Nada having a kid, we sort of had that conversation again but she was on shakier ground and knew it. She was more tempered about it.
I guess it was scary because I immediately had this paranoid fantasy that if I had had a wife and kid, she would have gone some legal route to get the kid away from me. I think there would have been a good chance of that happening. I have good reason not to trust my parents very far.
Ah... I meant this to be a nice post about how my mom is maybe mellowing out a little on my queerness. But no.
Comments