it's as if i always get to do what i want and my life is some sort of luxurous dream in some people's opinions. But I did not get my weekend morning of:
- sleeping late
- playing new piano music
- writing utopia article
- finishing proofreading barak's book
I did not even get my 20 minutes of peace and coffee.
instead i have read many little-kid books aloud, woke up at 8, cleaned and de-fleaed and played random games, done more freaking laundry, put more laundry away, taken out 4 bags of trash although i have been taking out trash and recycling every day - EVERY DAY - and I'm covered in sweat and dust. i know everyone who is a housewife complains about this and I regret being dreary, but how is it that sudddenly i do like 2 hours of housework a day and everything's still all crappy and it still has to be done every day just so that i can sit on the couch? If there is to be any sort of vacuuming (in order to battle fleas) or anything, then Certain People must pick up after themselves as a regular thing. which means Me, Rook, and Moomin. And Certain People meaning Moomin are now old enough to put the caps back on their markers and put the lids on their play-doh cans. The general mess is NO LONGER all mine.
With Minor Irritation and Irkedness and petulance, and a resolution to vacuum up fleas and then screw it all and play the piano for an hour whlie drinking a ton of peaceful coffee,
Me
As a person with much the same life, I must say that I am busier and more tightly scheduled now than at any other time in my life, including when I worked/went to school for years and years, and when I worked full time, and etc. There is much to juggle. Just because there is not much in terms of monetary reward, it does NOT mean slacking and luxury. But you know that. I have to say it and reassure myself all the time, too.
And the thing about kids is that you can't schedule them in. They are always around. You can't just put aside a solid hour of kidtime. It squeezes into all the cracks in your life.
Posted by: jo | July 25, 2004 at 10:24 AM
it's not like i don't appreciate the love and the freedom from loneliness and the nice life. but yeah.
it was an unspeakable relief when i went back to work and had a nanny. but then i came home and the same pressures applied.
i'm so ready to make those calculations of "what my labor would be worth" if it were paid. just to make myself feel a tiny bit better. and i need to go re-read "motherhood as experience and institution".
and i wouldn't be feeling like such crap if there weren't FLEAS and TICKS. ew.
and actually things have been cleaner - the humble goal being to have surfaces more or less always free of clutter so you can eat or work or sit on them. this is way harder than it sounds. and i'm not sure if it's at all worth doing.
rook is taking the old stove and some other junk to the dump. yay rook! whew.
Posted by: badgerbag | July 25, 2004 at 10:44 AM
Why do you have fleas - are they cat ones or exotic CA ones from other sources? I have a constant problem with fleas here as the 'wild' cats reinfect mine all the time and then they drop eggs all over the house. I am typing with my feet high on a box as we speak. Is there anything to do apart from hoovering and flea death cat stuff obviously.
Posted by: Iris | July 25, 2004 at 11:53 AM
i've never had fleas all over the house before, ever. i think there are too many wild cats who live around here. our cats in theory don't go outside.
and we need to seal our baseboards or something.
Posted by: badgerbag | July 25, 2004 at 11:57 AM
There's a reason they call that street "Alameda de las Pulgas," RWC has
Posted by: whump | July 25, 2004 at 05:09 PM
ack, pressed the wrong button...
RWC has a flea problem.
When I lived by Badger, Rook, and Moomin, my indoor cat suffered from them too.
Be sure to apply the Advantage to the kitties.
Posted by: whump | July 25, 2004 at 05:11 PM