bite in the ass

Jesus fucking christ. My advisor just emailed me that I should be sure to bring the giant packet of papers she lent me last semester. The what? I dimly remember that while I was on vicodin throwing away papers last week I came across a big packet of stuff. I stared at it dimly for a while and since I had no idea what it was or where it came from, I exercised my will and forcefully like a hero, threw that fucker away into the giant bags of recycling.

I am now going to have to spend my evening going through wet, smelly bags of paper that have been rained on for a week under some pizza boxes. Maybe I will find it and maybe it won't be ruined or I'll be able to xerox a copy of it.

Remind me never to borrow anything ever again.

This is all rather a blow to my noble effort to stop being a filthy pack rat. See? See!? I knew there was a good reason to keep everything.

Next my bank from 5 years and 4 moves ago will call me to tell me that if I hadn't just thrown away all those bank statements I would now be able to prove my rights to an unexpected million dollars in interest.