hallucinatory

Thoughts vague and hallucinatory this morning. I think here on day 3 of my ordeal my spirit guide is ready to come to me. Drank water. Got up and made tea and drank it slowly. I don't want to keep writing about being sick...

I have tried to read this morning but it is mostly beyond me. Proust? No. Eddison? No. Descending a few rungs on the ladder of literary complexity, Cynthia Voight? No. Stupid looking novel by Avram Davidson? No. (It's so badly written, it's like trying to read in Morse code...) Sleep? No. I just lie here in a fog of images and waking dream-states.

Some people throw up easily. I am not one of them... even when i know it would be better to get it over with... my body is saying NO. I read this dry yet funny monograph on the subject earlier this morning during a lucid interval. "Vomiting is a complex process, the elements of which are coordinated by the medullary vomiting center." heh heh heh. The Medullary Vomiting Center. It doesn't sound like a place you want to visit!

The thing saving me today is listening to beethoven. it gives me something to hallucinate to.