be nice to familyI was

be nice to family

I was whining a bit too much about in-laws before... I do love them... As I poke about amongst my ancestors and other people's, I see how families just don't stay in touch. It is admirable that my in-laws make a giant effort to fly everyone out there from all over the country. I made fun of my dad in law's 70th but it was an occasion for cousins to see each other etc. I mention my own mom's great aunts and 2nd cousins or sometimes first cousins to her, from my research, and she says, "Who the fuck is that? I have never heard of them..." And it's not like she has a lot of them -- maybe 7 or 8 first cousins. I have 3, and I never talk to them, one I've completely lost touch with by accident. This does seem sad... I feel really ambivalent about the whole idea of families from how mine has acted.

However if I were at this very minute alone on some carribean island beach, with my book, wireless satellite laptop, and fancy drink with umbrella and fruit in it, a lot of shorebirds, interesting geology, and surfboard standing by, and a little motor scooter (this is my dream vacation) maybe I'd be wistfully thinking of how nice it would be to have a nice family? Hmmm. Maybe not. Maybe not the first time on the beach but maybe the year after that...

Can I alternate yearly between selfish hermit and gregarious family girl?

Paleochora was really close to my dream vacation spot except for there not being any waves, and my ex-dad-in-law being a big asshole.

Must... behave... at.... lake house... Must not snap at increasingly fragile seeming old people... Must not be irritated at sisters in law and their hive mind that excludes me... poor jhk I just this second realized how his older sisters had the hive mind telepathy thing going on and that must increase the irritation of being around me and L. Should have thought of that a long time ago! Although thinking of it doesn't really help anything, I can't make him telepathic, nor can I stop him from always going "what? what? what's so funny? what are you talking about?" when it's nothing particularly important and only took a quick glance from L. to me to communicate and yet would take about 10 minutes to translate and plus if translated it would probably just be something insulting like "how can he possibly chew so loudly? and recall that one time in 1982 when that thing happened and so and so said such and such but you had to be from suburban houston to understand the joke?"

Look how marcus aurelius nicely thanks everyone... ahem.. must be good stoic... I'll go pack my new translation of meditations now just in case.