We are back. Yay. When

We are back. Yay.

When I woke up in the middle of the night my bed was like a fluffy perfect cloud; I was supremely confident that I would fall right back asleep. No bedsprings were jabbing into me. That horrible 40 year old mattress in NYC - when I woke up in the morning I felt like I'd been beaten and thrown down a flight of steps. Princess and the Pea has nothing on me.

I'm still reeling from the aftermath of the giant mindfuck of relatives who seem to think everyone is motivated by money - what a family - what an in-law - spouting rhetoric about nobility and gentility and values while actually suspicious that everyone around him is out to get his money. My pity for him nearly completely gone, I clung to the belief that I could act rightly, in a Stoic committment to duty, despite everyone's awfulness. I couldn't even ask him if he wanted a cup of tea without feeling like he was thinking that I was trying to kiss his ass for money.

Thank god that the ceremony where we had to kneel down and kowtow twice was BEFORE I figured out what he meant by talking about inheritance. Otherwise I would not have been able to bring myself to do it. As it was, it was just like being in some strange cathedral and taking communion although I am not a Christian; I just feel like an anthropologist and a translator of beliefs into something I can accept.

Maybe he is worrying about senescence and who will take care of him in his old age. Does he think that no one will take care of him when he's decrepit and dying - unless they think he has loads of dough? I thought that only happened in books. Apparently not.

Frankly I wouldn't take care of him when he's decrepit - not for money or duty either, he is too weird and paranoid.

I did like the princess-like korean dress. It had a huge crinoline and petticoat assembly underneath - with a cotton lining that I believe could be described as a shift. The over-dress was silk or satin or something, light brown shading into dark brown just like a seal point siamese cat, with a trim of printed flowers at the hem and neck. Then a dark brown and black silk over-jacket embroidered with more flowers - it is just long sleeves and a back and then tied in front with a long sash. I believe one could also describe it as empire-waisted; a high waist that allows one to be pregnant without a visit to the dressmaker. I felt like a cross between a princess, a cabbage, and an eskimo in this ensemble - rather roly-poly and fluffy, in a pleasant way.