My theory of the Prom

My theory of the Prom Queen and the Mousy Friend

I notice that in friendships between two (relatively straight) women, there is a sort of pecking order that establishes itself; one woman will become the Prom Queen and the other, her Mousy Friend.

The Prom Queen is assumed to be superior in physical and sexual attractiveness; her life is more interesting and dynamic than her friend's. The Mousy Friend is like the supporting actress who makes her friend look good, who hangs on her every word. The femmier one is usually the P.Q. but I don't think that's completely necessary. The relationship can be sexualized or not, i.e., the M.F. might be in the position of adoring worshipper of the coy, flirty P.Q. The P.Q. is often the thinner one.

It is weird to suddenly realize that I've been mousy-friended by someone who does not technically seem to be the PQ to my MF. When some honky-tonk going, divorced office worker just assumed that I'm mousy and my life is boring (which it is now, but wasn't always)
and, who, pitying me, allows me to listen to the description of her last date and one night stand. I end up knowing everything about her life, while she knows absolutely nothing about mine. The really odd part is that despite my general lack of susceptibility to girliness, I fall for it, uncontrollably, and feel myself becoming dowdy, pimply, and dull. I am tongue-tied. The PQ takes on a sort of golden aura like a movie star or a goddess.

I flash back to junior high and feel like Julie C. is about to show me her new dance routine and laughingly try to teach me how to put on makeup and convince me that someday I could be as beautiful as her. But underneath, I was aware that she was a complete twit.

Even if it doesn't seem to be about sex and femininity, it still happens. I noticed it recently among 2 girl geeks (J. and L.). Meeting them separately, I would not have been able to predict which of the two of them would be the PQ and which the MF. But once I saw them together, it was crystal clear.

When I feel myself becoming the PQ to someone, I try to stop doing it.