So, for a couple of weeks I was at about an 8.0 to 8.5 on this scale of disability and I wasn't sure how much better I was going to get. Now I'm improving somewhat, which is a huge relief. But I find that I'm in a weird space of emotional whiplash. Last week's main emotions were grief, anxiety, and fear. I was not able to walk at all, and my arms and hands were not strong enough for me to be very independent.
Now that I'm improving it's like I'm still steeling myself, but for something that isn't coming yet. It's like I got a reprieve from the firing squad.
This week I've been walking a little more each day. Saturday I was driving (It was easy once the Lyrica really wore off.) On Sunday I could go a few steps with a cane and holding onto Zond-7, but just barely. Monday I was going a bit with just the cane, but was super shaky and had to steady myself on the wall. Tuesday I was pretty competent around the house with the cane. Today I can go a few steps without the cane as long as I'm slow and careful, but I'm not confident. I'm now more in the state where I can walk to the bathroom, get myself food from the kitchen, stand and wash a dish or two, and things like that. But after doing any of those things, I collapse and have to rest and stretch and deal with the pain for quite a while.
I'm mostly in bed, and am stretching carefully. My right leg is very contracted (for me). Sitting up at right angles with my leg straight out hurts and stretches my back, the back of my leg and side, and my calf. I'm doing that and just slowly rotating my foot and then my whole leg, especially rotating it outwards. It's amazingly hard work and also painful.
My work is not being very reassuring, I keep telling them i need to go on short term disability, and I'm estimating for a month (though it's not like I *know*.) Sitting on my immediate boss in semi-public got a hand wave and no real response. It's stressful. I hope they aren't going to screw me over. Not feeling very confident of that at the moment.