From the rainy south, family insanity and a video

I am in L.A., or really, Blahington Beach, in a motel, having spent the day rather hideously at my cousin's party. She's super nice... and I like her husband. It was mellow and a good backyard party. also i love their house and all the stuff. my cousin is a genius of design and organization... the thing she designed for an entertainment center was amazing. it had secret drawer, and card catalogue style drawers, and was full of nifty cleverness and good planning. i was like DAMN you could sell the design for this.. and you have so clearly thought of everything to do with function and use and flow, expansion and so on. She would make a kick ass ui designer i bet.

also i love it that they have a rec room. it made me die of nostalgia for my great uncle W.'s basement rec room where I played "Pong" in like 1978. and i am sure Moomin will never forget the cool room with hot whe33ls cars all over the walls and the pool table...

But, my mom's drunk-ass alcoholic sister, always a bit hard for me to be around, was hard to deal with. I hated seeing how my parents were uncomfortable at the idea of getting in their car when they were falling-over drunk, and yet could not fix the situation or get themselves out of it. I think if i had not been there they would have just gotten in the car. BAH... why they didnt rent a car! my aunt would have said OH YOU CANT and acted like if they did, she'd be insulted. anyway I am impatient feeling with peopel acting powerless and putting themselves in situations they dont like and then acting even more powerless. Everyone was nice and rallied round, my cousin's husband's family deliberately delayed my aunt's husband in conversation and coffee and crackers for *hours* and got him to lie down and fall asleep. and my aunt passed out as well and there was a weirdly un-public group effort to sober her up and to continue delaying and to not let them keep drinking. (She got in my face a lot, and i was either mildly sarcastic, or peaceable, or smiled and left the room; i did not fight. she is a belligerent drunk.) I felt like my parents were weirdly scared i would go "well how about you wait to sober up as no one wants to get in the car with you drunk" Her husband is a sheriff or something too. Which makes it worse... as if he is depending on that to protect him if he gets caught... and should know better and that it endangers other people on the road. Instead, the dinosaurish attitude that he knows how to hold his alcohol. Arrrrgh. I did not fulfill expectations and call anyone out in a blunt way and make any sort of scene. But, I conspired in the general delay. i might have lectured my mom a little bit, "Well would you 'let' me and Moomin get in that car right now... well then YOU DONT EITHER... you ass." I dealt well with my aunt's endless hero-worshipping anecdotes about her dad, pretty well i think... I am always interested to hear family stories...

i did kick her ass for dissing my brother in law though. my mom jumped in too to defend his honor. wtf... whatever... so unnecessary...

It was all somewhat perturbing. I am glad Minnie and I break the family pattern and go boldly off to stay in hotels, with rental cars or our own cars, and do not let people bully us with guilt about anything.

i would not mind being closer to my cousin. She said she envied me and Minnie that we will deal with our parents together when we all get old. But she will have to deal with her mom alone. I said that surely we would be around for her. i am also glad that her brother J. is so decent of a person. my aunt is not his mom but he is still pretty nice to her.

i had fun playing bocce.

heard a new story about how my great-grandfather, my grandma's dad, (who died before i knew him and who i have never heard a word about, and something was definitely wrong with something there) told my grandfather not to marry his daughter, because he had married a half italian half french girl and it did not work out. "You will never have a happy day the rest of your life." my grandfather grew up speaking italian and english and my grandma french and then she learned english when she went to school. So according to my aunt, her dad told her he did not listen to this advice not to repeat this mistake. "and he had never had a happy day since". i commented to my cousin that, i wonder that a grown person (our grandfather) should repeatedly complain about their unhappy marriage to their own child (my aunt), rather than do something to make their life better. It is not a good example. it is like the whole example of their bad marriage taught their children that life sucks and you are helpless to fight that suckiness. Therefore they all act helpless when they are in a situation where in reality, they could just open a door. Or rent a car, or leave a room, or say what they actually think. And they are all in the struggle to undo that damage. My mom has undone a lot of it I think. In her own way by leaving many unhappy relationships and maybe by being an alcoholic my aunt has too. It is not the best way to undo, right? But maybe I can think of it as her way out. I can think okay of her as long as she doesn't kill my parents in a car wreck.

Rook is at his friend the director's house, watching horror movies that I would not like. Zond-7 has re-stabilized my reality through exchanging odd links with me on epistemology and the roman senate and buckminst3r fuller. I am greatly relieved!

Here is the video. It will help all that ails you! It is Polish bhangra with some ska and rap thrown in!

Comments

[whump]

Realizing that I can just get airfare, hotel and car (which sometimes is cheaper as a package than airfare alone,) has made visiting family much more pleasant and less complicated.

[lyssa]

I hope you enjoyed that little storm we put on to celebrate your visit. It's all for you.

[Melissa]

It is always so hard to be around someone drunk like that. Usually alot of hurtful things are said and done by the perosn drunk.
I hope you were able to enjoy some of your time there with your family.