He's really opening up more to relatives, friends, random other new grownups, and even other kids. I'm really glad to see it. Other people might not see the difference but Rook and I do. He will come up spontaneously and say "Want to hear about this book?" and he also will go explore a house or a room. It's nice to see!
whatever that chocolate stuff on the ice cream was, i want more of it!
I feel suddenly desperate to hang with minnie before there is a baby. But also, can't wait for the baby. I will maul it and be its auntie! I'll buy it weird stuff! I will call it "it" as with all babies until it shows signs of sentient being and is less blob-like!
Just now Moomin asked if he and his friend could go next door and play in Nukie's front yard. Obviously a normal thing for a 7 year old kid to do but I'm trying to convey that it is a huge milestone for him and that such things did not occur to him as possible or desirable.
I hurt a lot and need a nap but also want to work on some things while Moomin is happy and busy with his friend.
Lately I contemplate friendship and love and relationships and I try to sort out where my attention and my emotions are. Very tangled. I like where I'm at in some ways. I really really really like all my lovers and wish I could see more of all of them. For one thing I super love other people and appreciate them and appreciate feeling loved. For another I love to have fun (duh) and to have a zillion exciting flirty lovers who are also fast friends. And yet I still miss what I had or thought we had (me and c.) and I just keep wondering about that, what was that to me and why so rare-feeling and what just happened and why? IN other words, still processing. What is the difference? Why should there be one? Is it a kind of dumb illusion? Was that thing, whatever it is, the problem in the first place and only in my head? What is love? I want to go around asking everyone What is this? What are we? What are we doing? Why? Does it matter? Does it need to be defined? Am I fucking something up? Why am I lying here in bed feeling like this? What is/was going on with me? Oh, hell.