hosing things down

Tried to post this as a comment over at Koan's blog, Multidimensional Me, but I think it had an error and didn't post. Sooooo:

I am pretty annoyed at the tone of some of the criticisms but am trying to hear what can be done, what proactively, to improve the welcoming feel for next year. By me or other people. I am part of Blogher and am committed to improving the blogher site and conference to be a good space for all women.

Koan, all your suggestions are good for next year. It doesn't mean people have to shut up if they hadn't done anything. Not having anything structured into the conference, plus some of the more heteronormative marketing messages, were alienating. So, the feedback IS useful.

One thing I have learned, is that from the underdog point of view, anger does come up. It does for me, a lot. And I refuse to demand politeness, coherence, or civility from people who are in that position and are angry. So, despite any do-oocracy ie. anarchic structure, there are people in leadership positions. And so it is important for them (me, if I count as one) to work past defensiveness and hear the valid points. It is not productive... unfortunately... to tell the mad person that their mad is not justified and they should have stepped forward.

I'm thinking of the essay "The Tyranny of Structurelessness" by one of my very favorite feminist heroes, Jo Freeman. (Also author of The Bitch Manifesto). & of many things I've read on race, and cross-gender communications. They apply here.

Personally I am committed to working as part of BlogHer, and to working to make it a place where all women are welcomed actively.

***
Ooo - JM's post on this is excellent, pithy, useful... go read it!

Comments

[Rick Keir]

thanks for the pointer to the online version of "The Tyranny of Structurelessness". Someone, long forgotten in the past 10-20 years or so, gave me a paper copy to read as a way of understanding part of my workplace; you do not have to live in a radical feminist anarchist co-op to benefit from reading this and thinking about when/where you've seen this.

I'd say something more profound, but it's 12:30 in my timezone and my bedroom is still 88 degrees, so I'm going to collapse now and try and sleep instead.

Also, thanks in general - I always get something out of my visits to your blog: sometimes a good laugh, sometimes something more serious.

[JM]

wow. no one has ever used "pithy" in my general direction. "pretentious and pedantic," sure, but never "pithy." Outstanding!

[Susan Kitchens]

put another dot in between:
multidimensional [dot] me [dot] uk
and you'll get better linkage through to Koan's site.

[badgerbag]

You're welcome and thanks, Rick! I didn't know you were there!

I found a good starting point for thinking about privilege and defensiveness at Granny Gets a Vibrator. (And Liz aka Granny, I hope that lung thing gets ZAPPED asap. That sucks.)

About understanding (understandable) anger and (perceived or real) incoherence in response to privilege, I need to find some good links but I know they're out there, maybe in this very blog.

[Koan Bremner]

Liz, your comment took, so don't panic there! ;-) I will reply to it there, too, but for the record here - you know what, *I* was angry when I wrote that post. In the cold light of dawn (and it is just past seven a.m. here, on a clear, cold but beautiful Scottish morning) I would rather have said "should think twice before criticising" rather than "should refrain from sniping and criticising". Justified criticism (constructive, maybe even destructive) is good - but taking proactive action to solve a problem before or during is better.

Were mistakes made at BlogHer? Probably. Was some of the criticism levelled at it by Sour Duck and others justified? Probably. Were there warning signs that some of those "problems" might happen (e.g. the absence of a lesbian-specific session, since that seems to have vexed some people)? Yes. Did *anybody* do anything about such visible problems beforehand? No. *Nobody* suggested a lesbian-specific Room Of Your Own session, on the site, or by email (I know this, because I've asked). And once the conference started, did anybody take such action? I think the fact that *nobody* asked for a lesbian-specific Birds of a Feather (that I have been told) speaks volumes - to me, at least.

For not pointing out the gaps on the schedule when it was announced, I'm as guilty as anybody else. But, since I never expected to be able to get to the conference this year (all this surgery ain't cheap) - and because I do not claim to speak for any grouping other than myself - I, personally, did not think it was appropriate for me to attempt to shape or steer a conference I could not be involved in.

And my beef with Sour Duck? That this isn't the first time that she's been quick to criticise afterwards, but not apparently prepared to do something to help solve the problem at the time. Maybe it's wrong of me to expect that the first reaction, on seeing a problem that one can help to solve, is to attempt to solve it, rather than saving it up for a spot of whingeing link-bait. Hence my suggestion that people 'fess up to what they did to solve the problems as they became aware of them.

[thyroid]

thyroid http://buy-thyroid.blogspot.com thyroid [url=http://buy-thyroid.blogspot.com] thyroid[/url]