I will answer this to the best of my ability...

I really want to answer Alex Beauchamp of GIRL in this post, in detail, and I will try to do that tomorrow or later this week. I wanted (and still intend to) answer the questions from the two women in the "Women's Visibility" discussion today who asked "Why label yourselves as women?" :

In the conference, one woman asked the question "If stereotypes in reality bother you so much, why would you bring them into internet space? Why is it so important to be a woman blogger and not just a blogger? Why would you focus more on tagging your work as "woman" or "lesbian" instead of a woman who blogs or a lesbian who write? Why cling to names?"

The whole panel just skipped this question. The girl who asked it was so pretty and wearing a dress. She tried too reinterate her question again and again she was overlooked. After the panel I talked to her about it, saying I thought it was the most challenging question out there and how disapointed I was to not hear them respond. I said I think it scared them because they were so caught up in being rah, rah, rah about being a woman and being heard that they forgot to listen and accept all kinds of women.

   There was  not time in the panel to answer, and as Alex points out, they're important and challenging questions. That's why I was really glad the questions were asked... In fact I know that I said, "I'm really glad you asked that and I want to answer it..." But Jan wanted to say something else at that moment, and I had already talked a lot.  It's also why I said that I hoped the conversation would continue. We need to have that conversation and listen to each other.

But for right now I'm super, super exhausted after a very long day!  I swear I will come back and answer all of those questions asked, that Alex recorded so helpfully, and also will try to address Alex's issues, point by point. 

But for now can I just say... Ouch. Ouch! WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. Was Alex not seeing the amazing beauty and femminess of us all up there on the podium? Did she think somehow Virginia's physical presence and outfit was leaping up to attack and silence her? My god... to say that Virginia wasn't pretty? Did I just hear that? Was Alex blind to Tara's uber-femme powers and her gorgeousness? That woman's mascara skillz had me spellbound. You know when I looked like I was respectfully listening to Tara? I was... but I was also thinking, "My god, woman... your *eyelash thickness and separation amazes me*." Was Jan's femminess invisible to Alex? Is it possible that anyone in the universe could think Ayse unbeautiful when she is so radiant with gorgeousness and intelligence?  I would also like to say right away to Alex that I am so often in that position of being the "bimbo" and being super femmy. Maybe Alex was too far away to see the sparkly butterfly barettes in my girly, happy, celebratory purple hair-explosion.  But you know what? I also have a very good time being butch.  And I celebrate women's masculinity or butchness, wherever it's expressed. Did my black jeans and tshirt and one earring and sneakers (pink) smash the patriarchy all on their own? They must be very powerful!  Also... I am extremely pretty. 8-P  It's too bad Alex didn't challenge me on the femminess front, because I would happily have showed her my underwear... today it was pink and said "Punk princess".

I have noted especially, and very happily, the outfits of other women at SXSWi as significant, and intentional, and significant, personal statements. And it is a personal statement to wear an awesome dress... or some funky daisy-flowered kneesocks and a miniskirt... or sneakers and a skirt... or a tshirt and pants. Actually we can't get away from that as women. It states a sort of cultural affinity, attitude towards gender, etc.  But it is certainly part of my feminism to respect the ways people play with clothes and meaning. (Also, I just have fun with it myself.)

I would never question her professional competence, or her brain, or any other woman's, for femminess. Never!  I hope she will engage in conversation with me personally tomorrow at SXSWi, or with the other panelists or in fact any men or women associated with BlogHer. I would like the opportunity to persuade her that just as she should not be judged on her hair length or clothing choice or who she thinks people think she chooses to love, women with short hair wearing pants who are perceived as lesbians should also not be judged on those qualities.  I'd like to know how she came to the decision that someone or someones on the panel were lesbians, and why that would affect OUR professional competence, our writing, our ideas.  Or why that is threatening to her and makes her angry. 

Honestly to give this a real answer, I need more time... again, because they are difficult and complicated questions.   I will add also... that our panel tried to reflect diverse opinions of "what should be done".  I am fine with being the "radical feminist" end of that spectrum, and addressing concerns like Alex's.  I'm hoping someone liveblogged it or summed it up with accuracy including everything said by everyone in the room, so we can talk about what was really said with a good reference point.

 

feminism disagreement femminess blogher sxswi sxsw2006 sxsw

Comments

[nakedjen]

i absolutely loved this post. it gave me a lot to think about. i actually don't think of myself as a woman blogger. i actually really do just think of myself as a naked blogger. naked in all terms. raw, real, naked.

but not as a naked woman. just bare. and willing to share the real me. who ever i am at that particular moment when my fingers hit the keys and then i hit enter.

[ae]

Eloquently done, badgerbag. I'll start by saying paranoiac asides about receiving dirty looks and the tearing down of other women's sartorial choices do not an argument make.

I mean, short hair and pants = lesbians? And lesbians = arguments invalid? It would be laughable if it weren't so destructive. The irony is too much. To think that at a panel convened to address obstacles to women's visibility a woman would employ decades-old pejoratives to silence other women. A crying shame.

I really enjoyed talking w/ you about this question. I only wish your thoughtfulness and intellectual rigor could have been heard by more people. Maybe that wiki is not a bad idea, eh? We should really get these thoughts out there, so we can foster a real discussion beyond the level of "Shut up, lesbians!"

[Trula]

Damg that's messed up!