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Comments

Jo

I wondered what was up. I know it's hard to know what to say or whatever, but most of the time I'm so in denial that I am not in hell as I suppose would be more appropriate. Having your company is immensely soothing. I don't care what you say or do or etc, seriously, it's just knowing you my friend and your intelligent oddity and twitchy joy that is alive, alive alive.

e

"Oh dear badger, take care of yourSELF."

there, now it's safe for the rest of you, and she can't reach my face way over here, anyway.:> (er, how big is your codfish, anyway...) badger, you could never seem callous. you are right there in the midst of it all, and a calm center is very important. keeping on keeping on is the order of this weekend. denial may usually be a bad thing, but not in times of crisis, it's like shock. there will be time for all manner of things later.

callous. geesh. still, don't forget to take care of yourSELF...

e

...[ducks]

e

...[ducks]

elswhere

Honestly, that's just what I'd want from a friend if I were falling apart, or trying desperately not to. When people try to get me to emote under those circumstances it just makes me irritated. Usually when it's like that I'm spending every ounce of energy trying to keep up some facade of normal and having someone all drippily go "Oh, your insides!" makes it worse.

I'm a lurker who has become "hooked" on these writings of your and Jo's lives (I read her blog too) but I want to say that it's not just simple voyeurism on my part-- both of you are so bright and reading about your trials and tribulations has been very enlightening and actually quite amazing.
I'm not commenting today to review your blogs but because I wanted to come out of lurkhood and say that I think your "practical' approach is very wise. I have never had a crisis like Jo's but we have ALL had times in our lives when things were overwhelming or disturbing. When that happens, I think it's so soothing and good when we're lucky enough to have a friend or family member who can just be sensible and practical and address the basics of life,like you do -- it's the strongest way to say: "Life goes on", which is a message that is most important in the middle of chaos or confusion.
And it addresses authentic need -- we are all physical bodies after all. Mental health is fortified by better physical health.
Your approach is good nursing -- it really is -- and if you ask me, I've always found nurses to be the real healers, not doctors(just my opinion!).
Best, best wishes for all concerned... A reader

bunny

*dodging codfish* (Why codfish? Got something against carp?) Seriously, when crap hits the fan, we need our grim-and-practical friends. Heck, that's how I cope at first, then find a private corner to unhinge.

We all have our ways to Deal. Whatever works is what works. What counts is that love is love regardless of the different ways it gets expressed, and it is very clear how much you love your friend.

And I can certainly say one will never go broke underestimating the ability of certain subsets of humanity to understand, to empathize and to be there when needed. It's like explanations and communications bounce off their ears, land in the toilet and are immediately flushed. Wish it could be different. For you, and for countless of the rest of us. But I remind myself that "when you are blind, you are blind, and when you can't see, you can't see." Truly, they cannot see. What an utter shame it is.

Iris

You are so wise and interesting, Bunny, what an utter shame it is that you don't elaborate on a blog of your own.

bunny

We each have our way of looking at the world and I leave it at that.

badgerbag

Oh for goodness sake. "Love is love regardless of how it is expressed" , I think not. Since plenty of asinine and harmful things are done (and said) for the sake of what someone defines as love. There is no way to judge love and what it means to people except by their words and especially actions. Thinking otherwise keeps people in bad situations all because they are "loved".

As usual I am annoyed by bunny's bizarrely waffle-headed, sentimental, insinuating, drippy response to complexity. She reminds me of the neurotic Aunt in "Understood Betsy" who is always projecting her own fears and need to be cared for and protected onto other people; and as soon as Betsy goes off to live on the farm with her other family she learns how not to be so annoying because other people expect her to churn the butter and be interested in kittens and figure out how to steer the wagon team by pulling on the reins without telling her what to do all the time, or sympathizing with her "fears". It is patronizing, it's projection of your own needs into other people, it's clueless boundary crossing - and what's with the bible quotes - In short, please fuck right off my blog, bunny... You may count me in with the blind who cannot see, and the rude who cannot love, because I think you're a world class twit and am not at all afraid to say so.

*puts wet codfish back in holster*

bunny

And I'm a Republican too!

(Might as well be shot for a sheep as a lamb.)

Badger, honestly I don't know what you are so twanged about. Jo is happy with me on her blog (I emailed her and asked her) so I will go right ahead and keep posting there. I bear you no ill will,but I obviously trigger the crap out of you so will leave you alone.

minnie

hahahaha heeeheeee hooot tooot

Iris

I'm with Minnie here.

Jo

I'm just completely in the dark here. What?!

Wait, don't explain. I probably don't want to know.

badgerbag

Of course I must be spoken of with gentle, noble pity as being "triggered" , more annoying therapy-speak, which boils down to seeing the human mind as a mechanism reacting without will or control to the external environment.

No. I am not "triggered"... The exercise of critical thinking, judgement, and will are important to me, and as a person with agency, I evaluated bunny's "contributions". And don't like them. Bunny's favorite thing to do is to deny other people's will and agency while petting them with sympathy and syrup.

In fact I just took a few minutes to look her up and within 10 minutes of googling found that she is a notorious metafilter irritant who brings up her bipolarness in totally unrelated contexts. Seeing that made me feel even more firmly rooted in "get the fuck away from me." For example in a thread on some people who have 16 children and don't let them have any contact with the "outside world", she asserts her right as a bipolar person to have control over her reproduction....unlike in Communist China... Which has what to do witih it? And then onwards into the bible and how her son is in the Air Force and therefore she is a success as a mother despite bipolarness to which "sidhedevil" responded:

Great. More bipolar, self-important, sententious, judgmental, cherry-pickin'-Bible-texts-to-bolster-their-own-prejudices Air Force officers. Just what our country needs.

Because as bad as a huge public flameout on the Internet might be, it's a hell of a lot worse when someone has a huge flameout in a Stealth fighter.

Jesus loves you, konolia, but He's a lot nicer than I am.

Then there was the weird-ass commentary about the hurricane and flood -- apparently it happened because the world is full of sin. Oh really now? How INteresting. I'm sure it's all part of "our" (your) Lord's plan. Anyway... that bit about suffering exists because sin exists... just about my least favorite thing ever.

It weirds me out that so many of y'all have said things like "That chick bunny bothers me, In fact I hate her with a white-hot flaming passion.... But I wouldn't want to be rude or make her feel unwelcome or ganged-up on." Oh really? Why not? The more you don't like someone, the more you have to "protect" them from your dislike and the more you bend over backwards to "welcome" them? What for? Isn't that dishonest? Aren't you withholding information, not only from that person who is, in fact, unwelcome, but from the rest of your community who also might be so annoyed that THEY feel unwelcome and go away? Because that's what happens in blogland and in real life; the sensible people drop out of groups because they think they're alone in being alienated by the hijacking of a conversation by fuckwits.

bunny

Well, since you went to all the trouble:

Go back to Metafilter and look for Konolia. That is who I am now. The bunnyfire stuff was when I was unstable on meds.

Oh, I see you already did. But I have tons of friends over on metafilter(and you might as well go check on metachat while you are at it, I'm konolia over there too.)

Badger, you don't have to like me. I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me. It hurts my feelings, and I do have feelings. But I am not surprised by it.

I have purposely not mentioned my Christianity or my Republicanism or any of that when I commented on Jo's blog. All I am interested in is being a support to her. I AM bipolar, (repeat for emphasis) I AM bipolar,and there are times when my internet writing affects that. And if that makes a bunch of you folks not like me, well, you are within your rights. I know that many of you hold widely divergent life views from me. But I am not over here to stir that with a stick.

I like to frequent blogs written by all types of people. I don't like being an isolationist who only surrounds herself with cookie-cutter replicas of herself. If that makes me weird, bring on the codfish.

I don't want to fight. Let's simply agree to be polite.

And please, please let's leave Jo out of this. I think that is one thing we can truly agree on.

And let me state for the record, that I will not quit posting on Jo's blog unless she asks me or if you all make it too uncomfortable for HER. Again, I emailed her several days ago and she assured me I was helpful to her.

Oh, one more thing. Badger, I had read a bit of your archives (not a bunch since I have schoolwork up the wazoo) and I know you had some really negative experiences on the topic of mental health treatment. (that in your case was not necessary.) So did I , back in the day, which made it very problematic when I finally had to face my own problems in middle age. I know you are not happy with anything Jo is going thru now (and with that first pdoc giving her an AD, arrrgh!)...well, you are a very intelligent woman. Please try to understand that sometimes we have to go thru a very imperfect system to get the health care necessary-but if I or if Jo didn't pursue it we could be dead. Nobody wants that (For Jo, anyway. Heh.) If I assume facts not in evidence, please forgive me.

And rereading my first post upthread and your response to it, I think what I wrote and what you read were two different things. My fault-I was tired and did not communicate effectively. Plus, no Bible quote. Just a quote from myself. Which I suppose one could think looked like a Bible quote but it wasn't one.

Okay-if any of you want to blast me, blast away at konolia@gmail.com. Unless you want Jo to see it, which I don't recommend. I promise I'll read it, if that matters.


minnie

*yawn*

GraceD

Badger, your research on "bunny" is fucking chilling and I'm grateful you have outed this person for the stalker she is.

"bunny", you have no interest in Jo beyond her diagnosis. I think you're gleeful you found someone to join your By Golly, We're BiPolar Club. Statements such as "Okay-if any of you want to blast me, blast away at konolia@gmail.com. Unless you want Jo to see it, which I don't recommend." are not only presumptuous but downright creepy. You are clearly an exhibitionist who needs to let everyone know what you know.

Folks tell me that I'm one of the nicer folks on the web. I believe in civility online and off. But that doesn't mean I won't step in if I smell danger, and you, "bunny", stink of major trouble. Therefore, I'm not asking you but telling you to butt out of Jo's community. Stay away. Stop sending her emails. Stay off Jo's blog.

bunny

Grace, with all due respect, Jo is not a child and it is her blog, not yours. And let me just say that Badger's research is a bit onesided.

Can everybody just calm down? Sheesh.

Jo Spanglemonkey

http://spanglemonkey.typepad.com/spanglemonkey/2006/04/a_few_things_iv.html#comments

badgerbag

Just for the record...

a) I do not reject bunny for being a Republican or a Christian, and in fact didn't know she was either until I bothered to look her up.

b) However, being all opposite of me doesn't absolve anyone from being an annoying halfwit or make them immune to being called on their bullshit.

c) I also never said anything about Jo and bunny or Jo's blog. It is quite telling that bunny tries to make it all about that. No. Actually what I did say was for her to shut up on HERE. Which... again tellingly... she hasn't.

Ms. Jane

Badger - I didn't mean to imply that you didn't also have a nice rack! ;-)

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