I'm very spaced out and sort of trembly. I slept all afternoon. Dazed. Weird dreams about falling asleep and then people waking me up and making me go somewhere else, where I'd fall asleep again.
So nothing very conclusive from the endoscopy but "gastritis" and they took some biopsies to try to figure out the cause of it, I guess.
i put on a cowboy shirt and hat to go to Moomin's halloween party, and went, but 15 minutes later was desperate to go home, my legs are all wobbly and i think my mouth was hanging open. All I wanted to do was put my head in Jo's lap and close my eyes. Rook drove me home. I'll eat some soup and go back to sleep.
I was very scared of the endoscopy but either it wasn't too bad or else I just forgot the entire thing. My mind is a blank after the floaty-feeling hit, but I know I must have been conscious and cooperating the whole time, like a zombie. This freaks me out and seems sad, like being in a science fiction story where you split into two people and then have to merge personalities again which means that one of the divergant personalities dies. Since none of us remember everything anyway, this happens all the time. But it's freakier when you're on a gurney.
Oh yeah and I had one of the most incompetent IV-putter-inners in the history of the world. I could hear her in the next curtained partition before me, saying "oops!" cheerily and "your veins are just all dried UP!" to her hapless victim. When she got to me I showed her how my veins are plump and juicy and a phlebotomist's dream. Despite her chirpy act she had no sense of humor and looked at me as if I were insane! And then she stabbed around in the back of my hand for like 5 minutes going, "it's THERE, but it's like, curling AWAY from me every time I... Oops!" So I ended up with the catheter in the crook of my elbow, she made it hurt like a bitch...
Oh yeah, I remember telling Molly the much nicer nurse in the "procedure room" that I was unduly terrified... and chirpy-bitch stuck her head in to say "You're gonna love it, the drugs are great" and then Molly said some comforting things and assured me she would narrate everything. "There is no such thing as too much information, just tell me everything even if I'm a zombie please." She said she would. And then she said if I had a ring in my eyebrow surely I could deal with endoscopy and I said "Hahaha, sure, I gave birth with no anesthesia so how hard could this be?" and blacked out.