I'm calm again. I wrote a little and wrote my project-explaining email. 20 minutes more of trying to write now that Rook is home from work. Then I will ease off of myself. God.
I can't even go "it's just a dumb old school paper" to myself - not that I've ever been able to do this - but it feels all crucial that I continue to impress F.M. if I want it to remain possible that I would be her grad student (but do i want it ? Do i want to be her bitch for the next 4 years, to live and die by her tyrannical sword? I could grind my Very Healthy Teeth at the mere thought. Yet I don't want to cut off the possibility! even if i'm not her bitch i'd like for her to respect my work and think of me as a colleague as I get translationy stuff and articles out there...)
one more push and then a scalding hot bath with mint and rosepetals... and some serious lotioning. There will be pointless foot-exfoliating! I have new fancy lotion and peppermint shampoo. I will be ylang-ylanged to the core of my ylin-ylin.
someone needs to free-wireless the Hole. We are awfully close but not close enough. If anyone wants to give us a giant fancy wireless antenna, we could put it on our roof and the cafe in the Hole would have wireless! wooooo!