I'd been wanting to ride the train so actually the 2 hour commute back home from Berkeley was a lot of fun. I like to write and look out the window or look at the other people and think about where they are going. It is a great feeling to think that I could just get off at the next stop, too, and walk around exploring, open to random chance... I didn't get off the train but I liked knowing that I could.
Date was incredibly fun but I feel like writing much about it here would cross so many people's boundaries that I just should not do it at least not right now. even if things don't work out as i am hoping or imagining, it is still great. i wish so hard for it not to hurt anyone or be bad for anyone...
I am spending this weekend with Doss... looking forward to that too... reconnecting with her and going to this odd women's rite of spring million names of the goddess festival.
And yet it is not at all as if my sort of normal life and Rook are less interesting and in fact i feel extra appreciative of him, looking forward to spending a quiet evening with him, extra good about everything and extra loving towards everyone, a little as if I were drunk or had achieved some sort of enlightenment. i feel more like myself than usual, if that makes any sense. Surely this must be a good thing, and the universe will not punish me for being happy.
sorry if that is oversharing for some people, maybe it will help if, while reading, you stick your fingers in your ears and go "lalalala i can't hear you, lalala, don't gross me out with your affairs..."