For the love of God,
For the love of God, Montressori!
Someone posted on the Mom's Club mailing list asking for ideas for a mystery-themed party - and 2 other moms wrote back suggesting they look at Edgar Allen Poe short stories.
If that doesn't make you laugh, read on for a peek into my fabulous new invention - the Pit and the Pendulum toddler birthday party!
"Mommy, why is it so dark? I wanna balloon! I wanna cuppy cake wif chockwit! AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...... [repeat for as many times as you have guests]
The few cautious toddlers who don't fall in the pit (just like a bounce house, but it lasts longer!) can be strapped to tables - and scythe-like pendulum applied. For an added boost of nightmarish party horror, decorate the pendulum with evil clown faces or Teletubby heads!
(Rats optional).
Or if you're no gothic Martha Stewart and don't have time to dig a really good pit, try the "Cask of Amontillado" birthday party! Feed the kids some salty snacks, then promise them unlimited access to Capri-Sun squeeze packets and lead them down a dark tunnel. A hallway will do. Mmmm! Cold, juicy goodness, a special new berrylicious flavor! All the squeeze-juice you can drink!
Then at the end of the tunnel, shut them in the room with the juice and brick up the door.
Dear old me,
Okay this is fucking funny. I was way funnier 5 years ago.
Love, the Me of Now
Posted by: badgerbag | May 16, 2008 at 11:41 AM
dear old badger,
you are hilarious.
love, your sister.
dear 2008 badger,
you are also hilarious,
love, your sister.
Posted by: minnie | May 16, 2008 at 11:52 AM
also, thanks for the vag cookie recipe.
Posted by: minnie | May 16, 2008 at 12:29 PM